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Her name was ETHEL--

--but she was no Mertz! Shiny brunette hair cascading down from the top of her head, beautiful doll-like face, and legs like something outta a Fred Ward cartoon! When she walked in, bluezy jazz music started playin' in the background-- BUT WHO WAS LISTENING?!?

Otto had no choice. Actually he had three choices which were:

Do what any red-blooded American boy would do!

Ponder the morality of the aforementioned.

Get just a little bit spontaneous!